@GroovyTasia Idea: flamethrower but instead of fire it shoots hungry mosquitos out at my enemies.
@GroovyTasia 
@GroovyTasia Me: Just a woman looking for a connection in this thermal nuclear apocalypse.
Guy: Hey-
Me: Not you.
@GroovyTasia I don’t think my car can fly
@GroovyTasia Women in romance books: I know I just met him 3 days ago but I am in love with him.
Me: We’ve been dating for 8 years and I guess I like you.
@GroovyTasia While I totally believe ghosts exist, I seriously hope they don’t because I don’t want to go to the afterlife and meet someone that is like “oh when I was a ghost I watched you practice fake eating for an hour.”
@GroovyTasia Just parrot things
@GroovyTasia Him: Can you please stop using the bananas like they are phones
Me: But how am I supposed to contact the gorillas
Him: You’re unbelievable!
Gorilla *over banana*: When are you leaving him?