My 6yo announced, “All I want is a mansion and a yacht. That’s not much. Just two things.”
JUST. TWO. THINGS.
Took my kids for a hike, and my 6yo made a big fuss to get us to stop talking and said, “I want it to be quiet so the bears will come out” đł
Saw a deer in our yard & I know itâs not a big deal but before moving our only yard wildlife was a family of city opossums & our dogs kept bringing the babies playing-dead in the house & I had to remove a lot of not-dead opossums cuz my husband is a chicken
So…a deer was nice
pharmacy child-safety bottles have gone so far that i just have to swallow the bottle whole and hope my stomach knows what to do
I asked my 6yo âarenât you gonna help me plant flowersâ and she said âoh mommy I would love to do that except that I donât want toâ
sugar glider wrangler
i’ll see your “live laugh love” sign and raise you an “ew, people”
when mom throws a party…
i’ll take the “hell yes assorted cheese” please
wut hotdog?
In Hot Meatloaf’s name we pray đ
My 6yo proudly made her own breakfast this morning: “a pile of ham”
Yâall. My kids are in the bathroom plotting to stay up until midnight and have NO CLUE I can hear EVERY word of their plan to âsneak into the pantry and eat a ton of sugarâđ
To be continuedâŠ
the most powerful ad for religion i’ve ever seen
Y’all, I’m a teletherapist and my dog just popped up in session looking all professional and shit