My neighbors have been calling for their cat for 15 minutes. I’ve been meowing out the window for 30.
Are you okay?
Did you take your cold medicine?
Why are you so nervous?
I never thought throw pillows would ask so many questions
Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should’ve considered.
“Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?”
Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.
People fear what they don’t understand:
4th grade math word problems
Dog: *spits out pill*
I could tell by the scowl on her face that her patience and botox were wearing thin.
“You always overreact and make things dramatic. It’s really annoying.”
*raises megaphone to lips*
“Why are the balloon bouquets more expensive than packaged balloons? It’s just air!”
“I hate you”
[Burps] Wow, excuse me.
Judge: You’re excu-STOP THAT!