my sentiments exactly
I showed my kids Pitch Perfect but now my 7yo is adamantly insisting we form a family acapella group and HOW DO I UNDO THIS????
once i realized that sugar is from cane and is clearly a vegetable, the diet really came together on its own
Once I surprised my husband with a murder mystery weekend, and not to brag, but it only took him an hour to get drunk and accuse everyone at our table of being the murderer.
okay but exactly how dangerous are these ducks?
EVERY picture my husband takes of me is like
thank us. at 3rd floor. hit yourself. you will. 3 months. from now.
My 5yo is writhing on the ground with her legs in the air screaming into a blanket while we wait for our food delivery.
It’s like looking in a mirror.
the official breakfast of 2021
i haven’t put on any weight i don’t know what you’re talking about
My 6yo told my husband he was “grounded for eternity,” but my 4yo pointed out that “you have to let him out when he dies so he can go to a cemetery.”
6yo: what do old people eat?
me: when I’m old I’m going to eat children.
6yo: you’re joking, mom. you’re already old.
me: you remind me of my college boyfriend
husband: you never told me about him
me: we just started dating. he’s a junior
My 4yo: Mommy do you know that a grownup could fit in a suitcase if they were really really flexible?
She’s making plans to dispose of my body y’all.
Once someone broke into my car and didn’t steal anything – not my leather jacket or any of my CDs, and I have never felt more judged.