I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she’ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.


When Kevin Bacon participates in a bake off, he instantly becomes Kevin Bacoff.


Me: I need to start buying gifts for people; Christmas is coming up.

Also me: *buying myself a Burr Coffee Grinder* I’m technically people, so….


What if I’ve been finding a new single sock in the dryer and not losing one, all along?


“I’ve never had a reason to see a therapist”

– People who haven’t met me yet


I like how impressionistic the French language is. You only have to pronounce half of the letters then you just think about the rest.


The older you are the more you will get dead, so let’s all remember to stay alive, ok?

—my 6 year old spreading cheer at thanksgiving dinner