@lotusleaflets @lotusleaflets 
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she’ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
@SocialOutcast82 Wait, Omicron isn’t the latest crypto currency?
@SweatyGardener When Kevin Bacon participates in a bake off, he instantly becomes Kevin Bacoff.
@QueenVofCoffee Me: I need to start buying gifts for people; Christmas is coming up.
Also me: *buying myself a Burr Coffee Grinder* I’m technically people, so….
@_wendyb07 Dance like no one’s going to press charges.
@fozzie4prez What if I’ve been finding a new single sock in the dryer and not losing one, all along?
@Parentpains “I’ve never had a reason to see a therapist”
– People who haven’t met me yet
@evangeline_dawn I like how impressionistic the French language is. You only have to pronounce half of the letters then you just think about the rest.
@MamaNeedsACoke The older you are the more you will get dead, so let’s all remember to stay alive, ok?
—my 6 year old spreading cheer at thanksgiving dinner