@Mom_Overboard

Me: I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT PERSON THINKS I LOOK LIKE I’M IN MY LATE THIRTIES

Also me: is 40

@Mom_Overboard

The doctor suggested I replace the the pasta in my diet with more vegetables, so I chose potatoes.

@Mom_Overboard

Everyone in Canada is really pretty which means I should probably move there

@Mom_Overboard

Started a pot of coffee. Cleaned the coffee maker, poured in fresh water, hit start, and waited for that sweet sweet caffeine laden honey of the gods. I watched in dismay as clear liquid ran into the pot and I realized I didn’t add the beans. Guys. I brewed hot water.

@Mom_Overboard

I’ve been with my bf for a little over a year now and my future mil has already vowed to never speak to me again. How was I chosen for this blessing? Did I win some kind of award?

@Mom_Overboard

Fun Fact: rock lobsters are easily identified by the tiny electric guitar they hold in their claws