@anerdonfire2

I’m only looking for friends that could survive a hippopotamus attack.

@anerdonfire2

I have mixed feelings about birthdays, the aging sucks but I do quite enjoy using the day to manipulate people into giving me things.

@anerdonfire2

I should have known a van giving away free cheesy tater tots was too good to be true.

@anerdonfire2

Thanks to technology, family members from across the country can still have meetings to discuss what a disappointment you are.

@anerdonfire2

Apparently introducing your puppet as your lover to people is frowned upon.

@anerdonfire2

One advantage of looking creepy is people tend to avoid conversations with you.

@anerdonfire2

If I insult you, I’m either flirting or genuinely don’t like you. Good luck with that.