@caseytduncan

I only have eyes for you. I got them from the morgue. I’ll probably get arrested.

@caseytduncan

A smile can turn someone’s day around, especially if you’re hiding in their closet.

@caseytduncan

If I’ve learned any thing from dogs and cats, it’s that you can rub your head on people when you want attention.

@caseytduncan

When I’m nervous, I like to picture everyone naked. Then, I picture them fully clothed, with items of my choosing. It’s a very complex and fashionable coping mechanism.

@caseytduncan

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you have extremely good judgement.

@caseytduncan

The mood took a dark turn when I intercepted the wedding bouquet and ran it back for a touchdown.

@caseytduncan

People say I’m a bad person, but they’re just jealous that they can’t kick pigeons as far as I can.