@lmegordon

My 6yo daughter is chasing her 2yo sister with a baby doll, calling “mommy mommy,” and my 2yo is running away from her and yelling “I HAVE TO WORK!”

@lmegordon

Don’t wake a sleeping baby, and don’t make eye contact with a playing toddler.

@lmegordon

I was on the fence about starting a new diet, but then the fence broke.

@lmegordon

What did everyone get for Christmas this year? Just kidding, I know it’s omicron.

@lmegordon

What did everyone get for Christmas this year? Just kidding, I know it’s omicron.

@lmegordon

Something’s wrong with the selfie camera on my new phone. It keeps making me look like I’m 40.

@lmegordon

I’m the hottest mom hiding from her family in this pantry right now.

@lmegordon

My father-in-law spent the morning teaching my daughter Spanish, and it was all wrong.

@lmegordon

Toddler mom: please take a second bite of chicken

Tween mom: please do not eat an entire second chicken

@lmegordon

No vegetables were harmed in the making of tonight’s dinner.