My 5yo son at a cookout, “Where are the scrambled eggs?”
“It’s early and the sun is coming up. I wanted to wake you up and tell you that.”
-My 5yo writing himself out of the will
Him: Do that thing I hate
Me: Tries to answer his hypothetical questions
Me: God grant me the serenity.
God: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over your screaming kids.
Hey Mommy can you spend an hour building this intricate race track only for me to tell you I don’t want to play with it after all?
-every kid ever
My kids at 7am: What’s for breakfast? Can I play Xbox? What are we doing today? What’s blue plus blue make?
And the award for the best actor goes to my 5yo for his role in “I can’t push this bike back it’s too heavy”
I got mom shamed for giving my kid a chicken nugget like there are way worse things I do to my kids I promise you they won’t be telling their therapist about the chicken nuggets
“I was being bad last year and I STILL got presents from Santa Claus.”
-My 4yo completely embracing the Dark Side