@mommeh_dearest

“It’s early and the sun is coming up. I wanted to wake you up and tell you that.”

-My 5yo writing himself out of the will

@mommeh_dearest

Him: Do that thing I hate

Me: Tries to answer his hypothetical questions

@mommeh_dearest

Me: God grant me the serenity.

God: What was that? I couldn’t hear you over your screaming kids.

@mommeh_dearest

Hey Mommy can you spend an hour building this intricate race track only for me to tell you I don’t want to play with it after all?

-every kid ever

@mommeh_dearest

My kids at 7am: What’s for breakfast? Can I play Xbox? What are we doing today? What’s blue plus blue make?

Me:

@mommeh_dearest

And the award for the best actor goes to my 5yo for his role in “I can’t push this bike back it’s too heavy”

@mommeh_dearest

I got mom shamed for giving my kid a chicken nugget like there are way worse things I do to my kids I promise you they won’t be telling their therapist about the chicken nuggets

@mommeh_dearest

“I was being bad last year and I STILL got presents from Santa Claus.”

-My 4yo completely embracing the Dark Side