I’m eating the potato off my 3yr old’s French Fries because he doesn’t like potato, in case you wondered if parenting was right for you
[Element Support Group]
Fire: I’ve been having a hard time controlling my temper
Water: I’ve been welling up a bit more often too
Earth: I think we all just need to feel more grounded
Wind: Man you guys whine a lot
Surprise: Well I didn’t see that coming
Some children show signs of greatness at an early age, I just found my kids playing hide and seek in the bathtub.
I swear I’m more than a mom. I’m a sweary mom.
Getting to watch kids discover “firsts” is really amazing, like when the 3yo announced his toy was doing a handstand with his feet
me: how is your pancake, bud?
3yo, rubbing the pancake on his face: it’s soft
3: mom, you got a chicken I can use?
[my kid while eating a hard boiled egg]
mommy, what flavor is the yellow part?
[new tattoo]
them: cool! what is it?
me: it’s an abstract depiction of beauty; the juxtaposition of the lyrical and the grotesque[after 50 people have asked]
them: what is it?
me: it’s a squirrel
4: mama, I lost my pet rock. I need it. you HAVE to find it!
me: well, where did you have it last?
4: outside
Parenting is groaning when you have to watch the same movie for the 300th time, but also mad when the kid interrupts the movie because you’re actually watching it
my toddler should guest star on American Idol because his critiques of my singing would make Simon Cowell blush
There are so many firsts you can still experience at 40! Like finding your first chin hairs and having your first colonoscopy!
I just told the 4yr old to lick her elbow and bought myself five minutes of quiet.
I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed