@NikiWithIssues

He’s taking you for granted? Act differently. Do something spontaneous. Spice things up. Sleep with his friend.

@NikiWithIssues

I have to stop saying “Because I’m Batman” all the time. It’s not cute anymore. Oh wait. Yea it is! You know why? Because I’m Batman.

@NikiWithIssues

I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help.

@NikiWithIssues

I don’t see the point of being a godmother if the kid refuses to kiss my ring. I mean, what the hell?

@NikiWithIssues

I really miss Jake. And Clyde. And Marissa. Gina too. I should stop naming my cupcakes right before I eat them. 🙁

@NikiWithIssues

By the power vested in me by my credit card, I now pronounce you my new fluffy hat. You may now hug my head.

@NikiWithIssues

Hey person who wrote “WASH ME” on my car, I know it wasn’t my car that wrote that. My car doesn’t speak English. I’m onto you.

@NikiWithIssues

What’s the deal with everyone liking unicorns? They’re horses with dildos on their heads. Dragons, people. DRAGONS.