I am the King of the Universe and I have a son and he occasionally appears on grilled-cheese sandwiches. #yup
The good news is, Tony Abbott says Australia may have spotted two pieces of the plane. The bad news is, Tony Abbott says a lot of things.
‘Twas the day before Lent, and when it was done, not a creature was sober, not even a nun.
My last name is Zilla.
I support traditional marriage between a man and one of his own ribs.
The people in charge of hell sometimes visit North Korea just to exchange ideas.
The more I learn about Myself the more atheist I become.
If you’re going to throw someone under the bus, make sure it’s moving.
I’ve gone unverified for 5,000 years.
Why change now?
Today is the first day of the rest of your life and you’ve already screwed it up.
Justin Bieber’s home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.
Social media is one of the best things to ever happen to stupidity.
Life is a suicide mission.
You know how when you’re in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That’s Me. I love you.
An old white man in a beard bestowing gifts from the sky? Please.