@Cornjerker78 Nothing gets you out of the Christmas mood faster than wrapping gifts.
@Cornjerker78 A tired woman is a mean woman.
Don’t wake her up from a sound sleep because you can’t find the ketchup.
@Cornjerker78 I dated Spider-Man for a while but my folks hated him. Dad was thoroughly disgusted by his onesie and neat freak Mom kept following him around with a broom.
@Cornjerker78 Enforcer: Kids don’t get kneecaps until age 6.
Baby loan shark: Well crap. How am I supposed to get my money out of the little snots?
@Cornjerker78 Bird snatches worm: Haha beat you to it sleepy head!
*blam!*
And early riser Hunter Harry gets delicious fried pheasant for lunch.
@Cornjerker78 If you see a “lost & found” box in the proctologist’s office keep walking.
@Cornjerker78 Gecko at McDonald’s crawl through:
I’ll have A Bug Mac, flies & a small snake.
@Cornjerker78 Him: How close is the storm?
Me: Let me Google it.
*laptop blows away*Pretty close.
@Cornjerker78 Me: OK Fine. 𝑰’𝑳𝑳 cook the turkey this time for the Holiday.
[Family Dinner]
Me: Who wants burnt meat and who wants raw meat?
@Cornjerker78 Baby Bella mushroom: Where did I come from?
Full of shiitake biology teacher:
Well when umami and udadi who love each other very much…