@its_me_your_mom

“people online aren’t your real friends” tom hanks was best friends with a volleyball.

You Might Also Like

@UnFitz

Bent a spoon with my mind…
Actually I dropped it into the garbage disposal.
But it was my mind that let that happen.

@devonellis_

What if all countries have ninjas, and we only know about the Asian ones because they suck?

@KelFocker

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?”

@sarahyehia82

I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.

@Contwixt

Check out this list number 5 is awesome.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.awesome

@Kolology

Be warned: there’s a proper legend on the streets of Brighton.

@DanMentos

Guys I finally came up with a name for our character: Spongebob
“Perfect!”
Thanks
“What’s his last name?”
Oh, uh- *looks at pic* Squarepants

@TheAlexNevil

*me, at high school prom

Me: So, you wanna dance?
Her: Definitely!
M: Can you tell me why?

@NoTheOtherJohn

“He died doing what he loved…”
I’m not dead
“Interrupting my jokes”

@feasibleweasel

[At the first thanksgiving]
Pilgrims: Im thankful for the land you gave us
Natives: we didnt give you land?
Pilgrims: *winks at the camera*