No one makes eye contact in a restroom after being “loud” in a stall.
Women because they’re embarrassed
Men because they’ll start laughing
Why hasn’t anyone marketed bottled water as nonalcoholic vodka?
I’m guessing whoever said “There’s no point beating a dead horse” has never been in a zombie apocalypse.
The only thing worse than getting caught sneaking alcohol into the house by your wife is being called amateur by your teen son.
It wasn’t until an old man yelled BINGO that Nana realized what a horrible mistake it was to bring her pit bull Bingo to the bingo hall…
Hey Mexican food restaurant waiter, if the basket is empty you don’t have to ask. YES I WANT MORE CHIPS!
The book I bought on dog training doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t think she’s even reading it.
Not to brag but growing up my boys thought a unanimous decision meant whatever mom wants.
Guys! I just heard when women ask “Does this make me look fat?” they know we’ll say no. What they are really testing is HOW FAST WE SAY IT!
Purgatory is like approaching a flashing stoplight. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinking and no one knows what to do.