@TheBoydP No one makes eye contact in a restroom after being “loud” in a stall.
Women because they’re embarrassed
Men because they’ll start laughing
@TheBoydP @TheBoydP Why hasn’t anyone marketed bottled water as nonalcoholic vodka?
@TheBoydP I’m guessing whoever said “There’s no point beating a dead horse” has never been in a zombie apocalypse.
@TheBoydP The only thing worse than getting caught sneaking alcohol into the house by your wife is being called amateur by your teen son.
@TheBoydP It wasn’t until an old man yelled BINGO that Nana realized what a horrible mistake it was to bring her pit bull Bingo to the bingo hall…
@TheBoydP Hey Mexican food restaurant waiter, if the basket is empty you don’t have to ask. YES I WANT MORE CHIPS!
@TheBoydP The book I bought on dog training doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t think she’s even reading it.
@TheBoydP Not to brag but growing up my boys thought a unanimous decision meant whatever mom wants.
@TheBoydP Guys! I just heard when women ask “Does this make me look fat?” they know we’ll say no. What they are really testing is HOW FAST WE SAY IT!
@TheBoydP Purgatory is like approaching a flashing stoplight. The light at the end of the tunnel is blinking and no one knows what to do.