@TheBoydP

If by environmentalist you mean “I try to get out of doing things by saying it’s bad for the environment” then yes, I’m an environmentalist.

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@the_hawlk

“i used to live in india, now I live in indiana”

“is there a difference?”

“na”

@_KrisWilson_

Considering “Thank You” cards are a thing, I’m going to invent “No, thank YOU!” cards and people will send them back and forth forever.

@KyleMcDowell86

If I learned anything from Aladdin it was that if u just keep lying to a girl eventually u will get to marry her and live at her dad’s house

@NikiWithIssues

I have to stop saying “Because I’m Batman” all the time. It’s not cute anymore. Oh wait. Yea it is! You know why? Because I’m Batman.

@jenlaw_11

Mom I’m running away! No I don’t need a jacket! Mom no I’m fine I don’t need a jac- mom! No I don’t need you to pick me up later mom! MOM!

@kimtopher22

Fast and Furious 75: Tricked out motorized scooter racing in the assisted living bingo hall.

@Bob_Heller

You might want to read all of my tweets… so that when the movie comes out you can be all pompous and say the timeline was better.

@iamdevloper

“If something goes wrong, we’ll just go to a blue DOS screen and dump out an indecipherable log of what happened”.

This was a choice made.

@DannyZuker

“Hashtag.” #ReplaceAOneWordMovieTitleWithTheWordHashtag