HYPNOTIST: YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY
ME: kinda safe bet there
HYPNOTIST: YOU WILL DANCE LIKE AN OCTOPUS
ME: again, still no surprises.
5 and I are playing “guess the number I’m thinking of” with no limits and no clues. He’s guessing sequentially from 1. Talk next week, guys!
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I like where this is going
Noun me, Graham!
Kinda weird that you can’t tickle yourself, but masturbation works.
They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn’t land on her feet and now I’m in jail for murder.
“My ex was a great wife, mom & never once complained once about ass to mouth” was apparently not an acceptable speech when she remarried?
[Trying to impress a girl on a date]
Me: “Not to brag but I’m getting Windows 10 for free.”
Hear me out: a party bus that stops at bakeries.
Hendrix didn’t need to twerk on stage. He performed the old fashioned way, relying only on his musical talents and near lethal doses of LSD.