Told my 11 and 8 next time I take their electronics away I’d also be responding to all texts they receive.They’ve been well behaved since.
That awkward moment when someone says “stop”, and you don’t know whether to respond with “collaborate and listen” or “hammer time.”
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Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots.
I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty.
do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don’t have to be there
I just had my first pole dancing class. Anyone know how to show this new skill without coming across as a complete whore? No?
Whore it is.
My dog always pees against trees when we walk through the neighborhood
I do it one time and now I need bail
i think only bears should have the right to bear arms
cell phones have two brightness settings: “dim” and “the messiah is back”
Her: I bought a wireless bra today.
Him: What’s the password?
“Finally finished YouTube.”