or not B2…
That might be the number.
–Shakespearean Bingo Caller
Its real quiet.. Almost too quiet.
*1000 Dads emerge from nowhere giving generic BBQ advice*
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Me: I think you might have schizophrenia
Me: No I don’t
[trying to make it work with this really good looking girl that I have nothing in common with] ok what’s your 12th favourite juice?
Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect.
The answer is funnier than the question
I woke up today with what appears to be a spider bite. I better get super powers or I’m going to be pissed.
Just told my two kids that I love them both equally and the one with his shoes on the wrong feet totally bought it.
The circles under my eyes are so dark, Animal Planet is following me around filming a documentary about a raccoon out of its natural habitat
I bet the frankincense guy was all like, “Let’s put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us.”