@Cryptoterra We’ve got some ground rules in this house bro. if there’s a sock on the doorknob it means im trippin balls and think the door is a big foot
@tastefactory 2005: We want cell phones to be so tiny
2015: We want cell phones the size of the big rib from the Flintstones intro that tips the car over
You Might Also Like
@Cryptoterra 
@ElgatoEsmio I TRADED MY ALARM CLOCK FOR A KOALA SO I CAN SLEEP UNTIL HE STARTS BEGGING FOR LEAVES WHICH’S LIKE 3 DAYS
@MedusaOusa My daughter wakes up everyday at 2:30, and moves from her room to the game room couch. She wants to be sure to see her brother leave at 5:00 for swim practice. It’s not to wish him a good day, but to see what he’s wearing so she can copy his outfit.
@Home_Halfway WHAT DO WE WANT?!
Follow-up questions!WHEN DO WE WANT IT?
OH HELL YEAH THAT’S THE STUFF
@IGotsSmarts “Oh. My. God.” – the first duck to eat bread.
@mulva74 Signed, sealed, delivered.
Me: Wrong address.
@D2BMcG “Hello, my name’s Drew and I’m an addict”
“Sir, this is a cheese counter”
@SaraThomas84 If shame burned calories, I’d be back to my birth weight by now
@StuffDudesLike1 “It’s been months since I got laid.”
– Baby chickens
@CulturedRuffian Don’t worry little groundhog, when I stick my head outside and see what’s going on in the world today I run back inside and hide too.