what do we want?
SELF CONFIDENCE.
when do we want it?
WHENEVER YOU HAVE TIME IF THAT’S OK?
You Might Also Like
It infuriates my wife to see our stuff on the kitchen floor for a few hours but she’s totally fine with a table and chairs being there all year long.
Yes I have exams.
No, I’m not easily distracted.
Yes, my shadow is interesting.
Leading causes of cancer:
1. Smoking
2. Aging
3. Radiation
4. Diet
5. WebMD
It’s ok, stock market. I’m steadily declining every day too.
let’s hit the petting zoo and find out which animals are ticklish
Coworker: did you have a good weekend?
Me: obviously not since I came back to work.
This woodpecker needs to switch to decaf.
Pharaohs were buried with their arms crossed over their chests because ancient Egyptians believed they took a waterslide into the afterlife.
Everybody was Feng Shui fighting, those cats improved my ambient lighting.
Wearing shirts of bands you don’t listen to is like refusing to eat the cupcake, but cool walking around with frosting all over your face.
For those that worship cheese..
My husband is with me every step of the way, in life, in love, in faith, in front of the kitchen drawer I need to get to
[Social Media Addiction Club]
Hi, my name is Brenda, and I’m addicted to social media.
*no one looks up from their phone* Hi, Brenda.
AMERICA:
Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka
No thanks, Downward dog.
I’m already busy with Downward spiral.
My 11yo just told me the assignment is “mandatoryish” so he doesn’t actually NEED to do it.
Telling my husband he got his days mixed up and my quarantine is actually another day so he doesn’t see how messy I’ve let this room get.
A remake of The Notebook called The iPad
Thanks for the Christmas card featuring the ultrasound photo.
Here’s one of my family gathered around an MRI of my knee.
I carry one of those tiny Swiss Army knives with me at all times. You never know when you’ll need a tiny blade to thwart an attacker.
This made me laugh more than it should’ve 😭
Me: [2007] next year I’ll meet more people and be open to new experiences
Me: [2017] next year I’ll live in an underground bunker and build my own squirrel army
Four stages of my life:
1. Life is beautiful.
2. What is twitter?
3. Twitter is beautiful.
4. What is life?
me: ah shit, 4 missed calls from my mom…[stares at door]
[FBI agents kick in door] WHY DO U EVEN HAVE A CELL PHONE IF U NEVER ANSWER IT
I’m sitting next to a beautiful woman at a bar so now it’s only a matter of time before nothing happens.
The word October loosely translates to ’eight bers’
When I try to follow a YouTube natural makeup tutorial.
The world is your Oyster.
So raw, rubbery and resembling a booger?
dad: Hand me that Phillips screwdriver
me: *looking*
dad: Isn’t that a Phillips beside you?
me: It says “Craftsman”
dad:
me: Are you crying?