Wile E. Coyote’s Amazon reviews of Acme products are pretty scathing.
Leading causes of cancer:
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Huge thanks to @funTweeters for publishing my tweet! This made my week 🙂
No kid, you don’t have it hard. When I was a kid we had to eat without camera phones.
Sleeping Beauty taught me that:
1. I’m not the laziest girl in the land
2. If you sleep long enough, strange men break in & do stuff to you.
My wife calls it “woman’s intuition” but I call it “not clearing your browser history.”
If you say “guess who died?” with a big smile on your face some people get kinda angry.
Considering both Bruce Wayne’s parents died and he used his inheritance to become Batman we should kill other billionaires and see what other cool shit we get
I’m beginning to think some of you are not your Avi’s, which makes me sad. I thought I had a unicorn and dinosaur friend.
My signature move is getting drunk before anyone can ask me to be the designated driver.
Jogging has never helped my memory.