First time seeing these brilliant print ads for Scrabble today. Published in Ukraine in August 2014 by ad agency Twiga.
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Survey: How would you rate the cleaning products you recently purchased from us?
Me: I had to clean.
0 out of 5 stars.
Jeff is here!
“Jeff from work or Jeff the guy who announces his arrival anytime he enters a room”
Jeff is here!
“it must’ve gone to my spam folder” and other lies I tell at work
I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me.
My kid wants to make a trap to catch rabbits from our yard for pets. I believe in supportive parenting, so I told her if she can catch them she can keep them, and then I told my husband that if he helps her the rabbits will be the only ones getting frisky
I was in a triathlon once and I even led briefly during the registration portion
The way my kids use sunscreen they’ll never get a sunburn on their bathroom floor
Wife caved and ripped open the bag of Halloween candy two weeks early.
She should have just used the small hole I cut in the bottom a week ago
Any song can be a lullaby if you sing it gently enough.
Wake me when AI does housework
When someone has a baby, I’m just like, OK, clearly you were desperate to have someone to hang out with
I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something.
[meeting with boss]
“I need you to go back and fix something that broke yesterday.”
“I DON’T EVEN HAVE A TIME MACHINE!”
Are you watching Point Break or The Fast and the Furious?
shrek was successful because it was a farquadrant movie
Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.
In the 1990’s we didn’t have Uber, so we just hitched a ride with a stranger that didn’t look like a serial killer.
You don’t have to drive me crazy, I’m close enough to walk.
‘We’ll give you something to complain about.’
~pharmaceutical ads
Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg in, Put your right leg out, Put
-spider hokey pokey
When I was 5 my life ambition was to ride on a parade float. That happened when I was 6.
I didn’t really plan past that, and still haven’t.
In Hell, you enter email addresses & passwords using video game controllers for ever.
Not to brag but the guy working at the liquor store said I looked like I didn’t need any help.
I’m a savant in that I can look at any block of cheese, no matter the size, and tell you exactly how many Triscuits you’ll need to eat it all.
I don’t know how to act 40, so I’m just doing what I did when I was 20 twice as hard.
Void?
Y E S F R I E N D
Can you answer a question?
Y E S
What’s the meaning of life?
L O O K B E H I N D Y O U
There’s nothing there.Oh.
Her : I wanna be held
Me : Accountable or Hostage?
Me [trying to get respect from my family after eating 12 hotdogs] how many more hotdogs do I need to eat before you respect me?
Mom: we just want you to get a job. Give me the *sound of a struggle* hotdogs
I tried changing up the way I use the bathroom, so I wiped with my left hand today!
I really wish I used toilet paper instead, though.
Sorry I didn’t want to hold YOUR baby because I was holding MY baby
*Sips Margarita