It’s only fair that if the TSA should ban over 3oz of liquid carried on a person, they should also ban a person wearing over 3oz of cologne.
Didn’t sleep much but I got a few solid hours of worrying done.
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I just ordered a set of dumbbells, so that’ll be a fun new thing to trip over while I search for the remote.
I will never stop laughing at this
Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it’s 35 but just looks 25.
“Don’t you dare call my lazy friend lazy”, my friend defending my honour
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a little bit then give up and go look for food..
FRIEND: get our wedding invitation?
ME: i did, somebody hand wrote ‘do not bring pan flute’
F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that
To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms
Pregnancy test that says, “Your cart has 1 item in it”