[first date]

Him: *dips chip into salsa rather than scooping*

Me: *gets up and leaves*

(…comes back, grabs salsa bowl, leaves for real)

You Might Also Like


My boyfriend is taking me to a Spanish restaurant for dinner, I’m kind of scared, I don’t speak Spanish, how will I know not to order dog


I’m a girl that your mother could love. From a distance. Maybe you just show her a picture, and make a lot of shit up.


My mind is always on fast forward while my body’s in slow motion. I’m just like that channel where the sound is out-of-sync w/ the picture.


Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.


“I only look sexy in contrast to a toilet” – People who bathroom selfie


Every spider has the same powers as Spiderman, yet none of them choose to be superheroes. This is everything you need to know about spiders.


Cleaning out my fireplace before the chimney sweep comes feels like I’m flossing on the way to the dentist.


the craziest thing about today’s story where a bear attacked a 12 year old girl jogging in her neighborhood is WHY IS A 12 YEAR OLD JOGGING