@Boywhiz88 Any t-shirt can be an ironic t-shirt if you hate things enough
@InternalJane furnishing my new place and can’t pick what dining table or chairs I want. All I know is that my nachosaurus is on the way and needs somewhere to stand.
You Might Also Like
@Boywhiz88 “Hi I’m an evil ghost with the ability to defy time & space, but I think the best example of my powers will be to slightly close this door.”
@Cpin42 A cartoon bear needs me to prevent forest fires, Becky. That’s why I can’t go to your stupid wedding.
@a_simpl_man After just 1 hour of watching grandkids, my Fitbit called 911.
@chrisanna4real My signature move is being a complete idiot trying to convince someone that I’m not drink.
Drank.
Drunk.
@LindaInDisguise Listening to a global economy futurist. Pretty sure in 20 years Chinese parents will say “Clean your plate, people in the US are starving.”
@HerculeanStren1 They’re not wrong
@TheeSkinBoss Madeline was one of my fav things in the world when i was a kid. I wanted to live in an orphanage so bad for fly outfits and to walk in 2 straight lines
@GingerGander Man texted: “I want you to be my little angle.”
I answered: “Do you want me to be obtuse, right, or acute?”Two days have passed, no reply.
@RodLacroix I’m not sure I like progress.
I asked my youngest for her Christmas list and she held up her phone and said, “Just scan this QR code.”