@Jason_Horton If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U & I and your hot friend Amber together.
@nedroid here’s my dating advice. Take your date to go-karts. everyone loves go-karts. I just solved your life. you’re welcome
You Might Also Like
@Jason_Horton 
@Stellacopter I always cry at wedding ceremonies because I don’t want to be there.
@iwearaonesie “Oh man, that thing looks irritated”
– me, pulling into the airport parking lot and seeing my mother-in-law waiting on the curb
@Clanopath I’m just a girl sitting here wondering which outfit I own goes best with bad decisions…
@BigJDubz [Space]
No one: I can hear screaming
@weinerdog4life I bought a bowflex, it’s very confusing, how do I muscles? do I eat it? do I eat the bowflex?
@JackeeHarry It’s going to take 14 years to put Harriet on the $20? I’ve got a friend in Chesterfield Square who can print some off in an hour..
@Gelatin_Cyborg Your restraining order says NO
But your lazy eye says…….maybe later.
@BGH70 If they ever reboot Grease, it must be directed by M. Night Shama-lamma-ding-dong.
@slender_sherbet “I SWEAR I DON’T KNOW WHERE THEY KEEP THE TREATS, PLEASE, I HAVE A FAMILY”
