Heard Santa and his wife separated, which would make them independent Clauses.
( S | H | H | H) ( H | H | H | H )
(I’m a librarian)
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Human: [doing homework]
Dog: why aren’t you eating that
dear teenage me, it’s the future. no flying cars but you will write jokes on a telephone. no don’t kill yourself it’s actually pretty fun
Confusing prank: Obtain a grizzly bear, name it Love then call 911 and say that Love is tearing you apart
[If my dog could talk]
DUDE, IT’S BEEN 9 YEARS. I GET IT. I’M A GOOD BOY
*listening to the neighbor’s kids screaming outside*
“I know right it’s terrifying GET INSIDE!”
I’m playing chess against my gardener. Your move, Jesus.
ME: Off to the concert with my friends
WIFE: Say hi to everyone for me
ME [individually saying hi to 10,000 ppl] This is exhausting
It’s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
Practicing safe sax