Mama said there’d be days like this, and also “knock you out” ??? I don’t know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk.
My boyfriend said it would be nice if once in a while he woke up to breakfast in bed…
I put his bed in the kitchen…
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My job sucks but it pays the bills.
Too bad I can’t say the same things about my boyfriend.
Me: Have fun on your date.
Son: What if she drinks too much, or gets high?
Me: You really aren’t my kid are you?
Shot my first turkey today. . scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section…
Suddenly all I own are skinny jeans.
Chicken pot pie sounds like such a good idea. If you add commas.
I can turn wine into a one night stand.
Your move Jesus.
“There’s no eye in Teams” I exclaim turning off my laptop camera
Why do we PARK on a DRIVEway, but my mom’s boyfriend Craig won’t let me call him Dad when we hug?
My little girl will never have daddy issues.
But her future boyfriends will.