@UncleDuke1969

squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Give Jesus a fish, and you and your family will eat nothing but that one fish for a lifetime.

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Don’t ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don’t wanna look suspicious.

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ME: I promise it will be different this time

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I bet nobody noticed Superman flying around at first, so Clark just started pointing out every bird and plane until it caught on

@AndyAsAdjective

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ME: *I begrudgingly take off my invisibility cloak* oh alright