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If I owned a roofing business, I’d call it What in Tar Nation or We’ve Got Shingles or We’re Not Eavesdropping or We Are the Leaders or We Gotchu Covered or
My dad is in Hawaii for travel…
If you really want people to notice you, be a typo.
If I were a hairdresser, my business cards would say, “I’ll cut you.”
women wearing veils at their wedding arent fooling anybody. you invited us to this shit we know its you under there. cut the crap lady
I’ve been given feedback that I mention my favorite serial killer too quickly at social events.
At least he brought enough for everyone
michael jordan’s parents really named him after a shoe
ME WHEN A NORMAL BUG IS ON ME: Eww.
ME WHEN A LADYBUG IS ON ME: Evening, ma’am.
