In every single case, the Scooby Doo gang discover a human is behind the mystery, not ghosts or mummies or whatever. Yet they start each new case believing the villain is a supernatural being. Every time. Not once do they say “maybe it’s an old man like last time”
You Might Also Like
Horse: *tapping the hood* it’s got 400 manpower
good morning to everyone except people who leave themselves enough time to eat breakfast
Me: goodnight son I love you.
3yo:
Me: I said I love you.
3yo: I love milk.
Me: okay. *unplugs nightlight*
My brother: You’re the closest thing to family I’ve got.
Me: Wtf?
Avoid the horror of watching your children’s nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend.
If you’re ever pulled over by the police just tell them you pay their salary.
[penguin waddles into computer repair store]
“Hi yes my laptop is frozen”
…
Computer repair guy – “how did you get to Milwaukee”
Her: I love your eyes.
Me: Thanks, they were a set…
[1800s]
Guy who hates kids: Create for me something children will love, but then it abandons them, or dies a slow, withering death, or vanishes with a terrifying gunshot noise
Francis H. Balloon: Here’s a thought
I think my wife got us a babysitter because she didn’t think I’d sit on the baby correctly
[Neo’s Matrix bullet dodge but instead it’s me taking a compliment]
Every Field Has It’s Hero’s:
Music: Jimi Hendrix
Science: Albert Einstein
Business: Michael Scott
I think my 2 year old is behind the Netflix algorithm. He’s like “Because I liked being carefully tossed up in the air by my dad, I might also enjoy running headfirst into this doorframe”.
To be honest you were our third choice for this poisoner job but the other two got poiso… oh that was you, nice
Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body prevents cellulite. But apparently you can’t do it in Starbucks & now the cops are here.
Viking funerals are perfect for when you want to honor a friend and also get rid of a boat.
Me: THE DEVIL KICKED JOHNNYS ASS! HE DONT APPRECIATE THE GOLDEN FIDDLE
Cop: *megaphone* UR SO WRONG- oh sorry chief- LET THE HOSTAGES GO
I’m going out to dinner at a fancy restaurant tonight and my husband texted me the menu so I can “plan all my questions for the waiter in advance.”
I took my kids to a restaurant for the first time in a year.
Turns out the pandemic was not the only reason I was avoiding taking them in public
[in ambulance after being shot]
can we [coughs blood] stop at Taco Bell?
“Don’t be stupid! [turns around while driving] of course we can”
It may snow in Atlanta so I just bought 47 loaves of bread and now I’m headed out to the interstate so I can get stranded in a good spot.
BREAKING: California becomes first state to ban plastic bags.
People who love picking up dog shit with their bare hands rejoice.
Mom: my friend wants to set you up with her son, he runs a hedge fund
Me, who heard hedgehog fund: that sounds adorable
my neighbors have set up a little “bear hunt” game by putting teddy bears in their windows. I’ve shot five so far
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
“I want to see my lawyer” – grilled chicken
Giving my wife a drum solo for christmas she ain’t better than Jesus.
make your life more efficient by cutting out the middle man. quit your job. kill your friends. throw your food directly into the toilet.
contractor: I finished installing the secret entrances, death ray, and crocodile moat. all that is left is the payment
super villain: no
contractor: right, should’ve seen that coming
I dropped my ice cream cone on the ground and it landed pointy end up which made the Earth, at least for a moment, one giant topping.