[after recapturing an escaped convict]
sheriff: “congratulations on your absquatulation from prison but its time to go back to the slammer”
convict:
deputy *feels for a pulse*: “sheriff, hes absquatulated!”
sheriff: “we really need separate Word of the Day calendars”
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Clipity clop, BANG!
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Me: isn’t it normally 3??
Genie: yeah but *vaguely gestures to me* lot of issues here.
if you jumped out of a plane would you rather have a parachute or the knowledge of how to make a parachute? most people would say parachute. and that’s why most people never start a successful business
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Him: What? I haven’t even said anything
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