North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there’s someone for every un.
You Might Also Like
Guys, I need help with a good recipe that will make my guests never come visit again.
If you know shes had a bad day just ask her how she is doing. Then when shes talking you can think of a good tweet that makes fun of her day
Yup.
Courageously battles through my ice cream headache
Me being confident.
I am 99% sure I did it, well 90% anyway.
Ok.. 50%.
Did I do it?
I know it sounds mean but when I’m mad at my wife and want to lash out, I blow out her scented candles when she’s not looking.
Revenge is a dish best served with revengetables.
Area Man Already Knows Which Chicken Tender He’s Saving For Last
Today, whilst out shopping, I tried on a beautiful jacket. It was the jacket of a customer trying on another jacket and now I can never go shopping again.
everyone has that one prude friend
Am I a bad navigator? Well off course
My father: you can’t tell me what to do! THERE ARE NO RULES.
Me: …Dad, this is a card game.
overheard in the elevator
dude 1: “I have a song stuck in my head, it’s killing me”
dude 2: “aw man yeah, I’ve got like 4”
dude 1: “at least you’ve got a playlist”
Did we ever get rid of that ozone layer or are we still worried about that
The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on
This total stranger wanted to have a spontaneous tickle fight on the street and…oh…nope, never mind I’m being robbed. Guys I’m being rob
pilot: we’re about to crash
passengers: OMG
pilot: this wedding
passengers: phew
pilot: cause we’re gonna run into this church
It’s amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.
Want to get noticed? Go jogging without moving your arms.
me: hit that tree with your fist
hitman: that’s not what i do
me: hundred bucks
hitman: no
me: will you punch a house
Me: welcome to my she shed
Gynecologist: please don’t call it that
JOB REQUIREMENTS: Must have a college degree. Must have 5 years experience. Must have volunteered as tribute and won the 74th Hunger Games.
My wife asked what I thought of her new blouse and I used the word “slimming”, I explain to the other homeless people.
“I got this”
-hypochondriac reading Web MD
Sorry Windows. The only thing a “strong” password will do is lock me out of my own computer when drunk. 1234 it is.
I think this is my favorite scene in a movie
5 Minute Crafts be like:
-cut a straw longways
– iron it flat
-soak it in ice water
-use your .001″ curling iron
-then glue it together
And now you have a straw!
I don’t care if you used to be the village bicycle…
All that matters is that you’re my bicycle now.
~inspirational tweet
Any job that calls u a rockstar just know they’re underpaying u
I’ve noticed that my parents talk about ‘the good old days’, they always seem to stop at 1979. Which is great, because that’s also the year I was born,wait… What?