2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.
You Might Also Like
My wife is still mad about the time I seductively went under the covers…slid off the end of the bed…and then army crawled out of the bedroom.
Sperm 1: I think I’ve got a shot at a Nobel Peace Prize.
Sperm 2: Not me, I’m looking for a cure for Cancer.
Sperm 3 through 18.2 Mil: We’ve heard good things about the Xbox.
It’s terrible when my husband “misplaces” his phone after forgetting to do the chores he promised to do. *giggle*
Told my coworker to shut up or I would slash his tires. He laughed, I laughed. Now I’m by his car with a knife and I can hear sirens. 🙁
Got 3 boxes of tampons, Midol & Ibuprofen at the store. Checker was so scared he paid for my shit & carried it out for me.
Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.
Inspiring: Celebrities Spell Out ‘We’re All In This Together’ With Their Yachts
before cameras, people would have to say “cheese” for two hours while they got their portrait painted
One time I met a karate instructor who didn’t have a ponytail so I called the police
I’m pretty terrified of the possibility that you guys might crawl out of my phone like that girl in The Ring.
Umbrellas are cool because they keep 8% of you dry AND give you a big soggy stick to carry around all day!
Good thing most planes have TVs. Nothings worse than having to look out the window at Earths sacred majesty from the point of view of angels
“Can I get a umm…”
-every person ever at the drive thru
My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age.
So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl.
Tik Tok.
if the second I text you back, you call me because you know I’m holding my phone, I will call the police.
Leonardo Dicaprio has addressed the UN about climate change.
Well if anyone should know about the dangers of melting icebergs, it’s him!
this has to be peak English
My wife is amazing in bed. She can fall asleep immediately no matter how loud the TV is on.
[first day as a psychiatrist]
PATIENT: I’m still hearing voices
ME: *rolls eyes* that’s because we’re talking
Any time my wife brings up home renovations I just mention installing a urinal and suddenly we’re not talking about home renovations any more
I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those?
-Me, at Home Depot
Picture me eating dinner.
Wrong!
Louder. Drunker.
Even more backup dancers.
I cannot wear white, things like cereal, soup and pens randomly attack me.
I mean I’m over it but I’m definitely going to bring it up again after a couple drinks
Dodgeball in gym class…
because life wasn’t already hard enough when I was 12.
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
[man walks into a bar]
Horse bartender: Why the short face? SEE? SEE? IT’S NOT COOL!
Therapist: You pretentiously slip French words into conversations because of your deep-seated insecurity.
Me: Touché.
[First target practice]
Son: I missed
Stormtrooper Dad: I know, I’m proud of you son.
“You know a lot of people think you built the pyramids”
The alien trying to abduct me:
why do you have so much Mayonnaise in your fridge