[Entering a dark forest]
“Listen. That’s the banshee wailing. One of us may not make it home alive.”
“Keening.”
“What?”
“Banshees keen.”
“You go first.”
“Dammit.”
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ME: got it
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Kristoff: She is literally dying
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I just ate my weight in baked potatoes so if anyone has been thinking about robbing my house, now is the time to do it. I’m not moving anytime soon.
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Me: For my next trick im going to make this parrot disappear, abracadabra!
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My shirt: no it isn’t
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HIM: Get rid of it
ME [scared] I can’t
PROSECUTOR: never? Not once in all the time you have lived at the defendant’s house?
MY CAT: I have never been fed, your honor
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May 2020: *primal scream*