So Jamie and Cersei could have lived if they moved a little to the left?
You Might Also Like
My husband doesn’t think our family will eat a 5 pound bag of cheese and I’ve never been so determined to prove him wrong.
One of my coworkers just took every friday off from now until february. so lets all collectively hate her please.
On Halloween I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice.
Only while supplies last.
WIFE: can’t wait until we’re old and sitting on the porch so I can tell you all my stories again because you won’t remember any of them
ME: wait… your retirement fantasy is I have dementia?
My 7yo lost his lunchbox, but he did bring home a giant leaf, so I guess we’ll just wrap up his lunch in that from now on.
Hey guys I’m so thrilled to announce that I’ll no longer be thinking! This has been a lifelong goal, and I’m so grateful to everyone who helped get me here
My fave part of eating corn dogs is when you get to the bottom and you have to shove the wooden stick in the back of your throat to get that last bit o’ battered glizzy
{me trying to sound cool in front of my son’s friends} ‘sup bruhs tell your moms i said yeet
She went out this morning for milk and lovingly announced upon her return that she’d bought me two donuts, then when I wasn’t looking she unlovingly ate one.
me: wow the stars are beautiful
gf: omg babe they really are
me: u know who else is beautiful?
gf: *blushes* who? :3
me: Harambe
Sign of the times. 😒
#Hoarders #COVIDー19 #COVID #CoronaOutbreak
I fear that one day I’ll click on “Forgot password?” and it will say “We’re not telling you. This is going to be a learning experience.”
Can’t talk, competitively eating
*sharing nachos with my 17yo son
just read an article that said stray dogs will “elect” the cute dogs in the group to approach ppl cause they come back with more food. u little shits think u can manipulate me well u absolutely can here have my entire lunch
operators are standing by to ignore your call
The ocean is over seasoned. Too salty. Zero stars.
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
Kids don’t like it when you laugh at them after they step on their toys. Taking a video of it doesn’t help either.
Pro revenge tip: Paint a Jesus-shaped stain on your hated neighbor’s driveway, then alert local churches.
Led Zeppelin: And she’s buying a stairway to Heaven…when she gets-
My wife: HOLD ON I HAVE A COUPON
Can everyone please stop tweeting the clapping emoji it’s making all my lights turn on and off
Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders.
Conversation between my mom and my 12 year old brother. I am in tears.
No one is going to sit in their death bed and think, “I wish I put in more hours at the office”
They’re going to think, “I wish I had corrected more people’s grammar on the internet”
[Michael Bay directing]
“WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK”
Teacher: This is your son’s 3rd grade play
“Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS”
Me: So I hear you’re the guy that invented lying
Guy: No it wasn’t me
Me: Impressive
Him: “Age is just a number.”
Me: “Technically, age is a word….”
Anyways, that’s how I ended up blocked.
*gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
Your friends will stand by you even when you’re at your worst because people are stupid
I bought a new cat tree for my cats and they are just having the best time playing in the box it came in.