Prince Devitt x Low Ki x Kota Ibushi. One of my all time favorite matches. 🔥
You Might Also Like
Nice tan, what’s your race? Carrot?
Me: could you pass me the Washington Shire sauce
Her: the what?
Me: the Westminster Shore sauce
Her: are you having a stroke?
Me: the Warcaster Shiner sauce
Her: hello, 911? I need an ambulance-
Me: the Willmington Scone sauce
Her: please, it’s getting worse
Me: the Wank-
Therapist: Why did you bring a lawyer to a therapy session?
My lawyer: You don’t have to answer that
[ Quarantine week 2 ]
We want to become self-sufficient so we planted our own tater tot tree.
My sister had a baby today. I think I’ve used that as an excuse to get out of more stuff this week than she has.
Say sliders to drugs
Say no to yes
they say penguins mate for life, but that’s bullshit cause my penguin left me first chance she had
Brother?
get you a girl who
Every time I see inside my neighbour’s incredibly pristine garage, I wonder what secret shenanigans he is up to in his basement.
If there’s no God, why are feet naturally shoe-shaped?
yes, those are my real potatoes.
Ruffles? Oh you mean the corduroy chips?
[armed robbery]
gf: pls babe he has a gun, this isn’t the time to mess around, just call the cops
me: no. *pulls out deck of yu-gi-oh cards* i have to trust the heart of the cards
robber: you should’ve listened to your little girlfriend, kid
*pulls a deck out of his gun*
Spanish is easily the sexiest language. Everyone should want to learn it. You can say you need to take a shit in Spanish and it sounds sexy.
WIFE: Did everyone at work enjoy the cookies I baked?
ME: [pretending I didn’t eat them all on the drive in] WHATS WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS?!
Before handing your wallet and wife’s necklace over to that angry gunman, pause to consider how sweet it would be if your son became Batman.
A cartoon bear needs me to prevent forest fires, Becky. That’s why I can’t go to your stupid wedding.
Day 1 of diet:
forgot I was on a diet and had a milkshake and fried chicken. Will try again tomorrow.
I’d like to criticize your fidget spinner but I used to own a pet rock.
Toddler *at 8 AM*: Mom, I had zero candy today
Me: Is this a statement of complaint or achievement?
My parents didn’t raise me to be disrespectful. I had to practice.
Me: Accept your flaws. You’ll feel better. It worked for me.
Her: You accepted your flaws?
Me: No. I accepted your flaws.
My kids said parenting is easy so I let them put the toddlers socks and shoes on and now everyone is crying.
*getting escorted out of a Chuck E. Cheese*
Listen buddy,
This beer told me I could dance.
“Bob is coming over for dinner.”
Bob from work or Bob the giraffe?
*there’s a knock at the upstairs window*
Me: Does the ceasar salad have anchovies?
Waiter: I meant questions about the menu
Me: But––
Waiter (grabbing it from me): The menu, the menu! Like “why no dollar signs by the prices?” or “did you draw this salmon icon?”
I wish Gordon Ramsay would get one tattoo so I could take him seriously as a chef.
You inspired me to sing. Never mind the dogs howling for me to stop.
[sinking ship]
CAPTAIN: dammit
RAT: i’m leaving
CAPTAIN: i’m staying
CAPTAIN’S GOLDFISH: [in fishbowl] i’m excited to see how this plays out