Every time my boyfriend and I break up, we get back together for half the length of our previous relationship. My friends say it’s unhealthy, but as a student of mathematics, I know it’s bound to end in a finite amount of time.
@KrangTNelson @funTweeters I am not a millennial, I am straight out the the 70’s and I make up new words to suite myself. Like you don’t get a spoonful of mashed potatoes you get a thwack of mashed potatoes because that is the sound it makes when they hit your plate thwack.
ME: You wanna redeem your anniversary present? WIFE: The “One Free Naughty Massage” coupon? ME: Yup. *winks* WIFE: Sorry, I re-gifted it. ME: You what? To who? WIFE: I forgot someone’s birthday, and I panicked. ME: TO WHO?!? WIFE: You may get a weird call from my mom.