@MicheleAKALips
@DurtMcHurtt I always wonder what the nurses reaction was like after I leave a half eaten sandwich in a coma patients hand.
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@DurtMcHurtt 
@ChefRonSullivan Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle …
@gavinprobably My girlfriend just explained to me that people can’t actually go through black holes, and now I don’t really care about space anymore.
@n0tblonde You can tell a lot about a woman from her hands, for instance if they are firmly around your throat she is probably slightly upset.
@Manda_like_wine In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread.
@bazecraze Guns don’t avoid critical thinking by leaning on tired aphorisms. People do.
@UncleDuke1969 Yes!
Great!
Bravo!
Hurrah!
Yippee!
Cheers!
Hooray!
Rah Rah!
Woo Hoo!
Whoopee!
Awesome!– Excerpt from “Fifty Shades of Yay!”
@ilovepie84 WW2 started from a game of telephone when Hitler said ” I hate shoes”
@Demented_Jokes Always remember…. A mirror never lies.
(Fatty)
@FrankCurtisB I like my women like I like my eggshells: white and broken.