@Harbinger_one
@KentWGraham I wish No More Tangles shampoo would work on Christmas lights.
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@KentWGraham 
@SunniWestbrook OMG. I saw Leonardo da Vinci trending and thought he died.
@KentWGraham For parents, college is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.
@internetluke If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said “sorry to Bale on you” then I don’t think he is living life to the fullest.
@tchrquotes thanks, but I’M TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STOP IT
@GirrlGenius Is Yoda’s last name Lay-he-hoo?
@BriarSlyMalice NO…I don’t “make plans” because plans suggest INTENT…
…which is typically the distinction between second & first degree convictions.
@MsLisaM My cat that died 3 years ago got a letter saying she needs to register if she wants to vote, showing how well Florida handles elections.
@TheWeirdWorld The headline “WORLD’S OLDEST PERSON DIES” could also be “WORLD HAS NEW OLDEST PERSON”.
@Aspersioncast There’s really no cooler place to wear sunglasses than in a submarine.