SON: *first word* momma.
MOM: DID YOU HEAR THAT?
ME: *distracted by the faint song of an ice cream truck*
He never comes down our street.
The poorest man can be rich if he gets a bunch of money.
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ME: So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think?
I’m sorry we fought. I hate it when you’re wrong.
The closest I’ve ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.
I’ve now had my account locked and been forced to change my password so many times it is up to: password1234567
The best way to get your kid to play with 800 toys at once is to tell then you’re going to donate them to charity.
Long story short, hitler beat me up and has my time machine.
Anyone got any tips on how to conduct an exorcism, but like subtly?
Yet another “No DMs” bio. All this civil rights progress but bigotry against Dungeon Masters is still tolerated.
Have the people who designed wine glasses ever washed dishes in their lives?