A stunning example of cloud iridescence, caused by small ice crystals scattering the sun’s rays, filmed in Narathiwat, Thailand.
Credit: Orawan Thongchinda
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yea so i messed up lol
Am I original?
-Yeaaah.
Am I the only one?
-Yeaaah.
Do you wanna build a snowman?
-Go away, Anna.
Ok byyyyye.
[getting car jacked] umm i know i’m supposed to resist and all but if we don’t cooperate we’re both gonna miss McDonalds breakfast so hop in
Don’t give your heart to someone unless you’re 100% certain that you’re dead.
Anyone that breaks up with me gets followed around by a gang of feral raccoons with tiny signs that say “Really?” and “Seriously dude?” for at least, a month.
Your Game of Thrones name is your biggest fear spelled backwards plus the profession your guidance counselor suggested. Mine is Snwolc Clown
me: so how do i look
eye doc: terrible
me: think glasses would help
eye doc: no i can see you fine
Nobody:
Kindergartener learning consonant sounds: F-f-fish starts with F and f-f-frog starts with F too, and my mom says a word that starts with F but it sounds kind of like duck. *pause* I don’t know if I’m supposed to say THAT here.
If Reese’s eggs are buy one get one free, there are 0 calories associated with the free one. Live free my friends.
SORTING HAT: this kid’s a piece of shit uh I mean slytherin
I talk a lot of shit for someone who just had a sexy dream about a grilled cheese sandwich
I hate when I’m getting a back rub & he stops 3 mins in & says “my thumbs hurt.” It’s not like I ever say “My jaw hurts.” I finish the job.
me: these edibles aren’t doing anything
lamp: just give it a little time
*phone rings*
Yoda: Yoda
Luke: WTF VADER’S MY DAD?
Y: Uh
L: And you knew & told me to kill him?
Y:
L:
Y: Going thru a tunnel I am
*hangs up*
I just cleaned out the change at the bottom of my purse and now I have an extra $17,000.
me: it’s tough coming back into the office huh?
them: you don’t work here
me: i know it was really tough getting past security
Taxidermist’s Wife: Whatcha thinkin’ about?
Taxidermist: Stuff.
Hubby is playing “Restaurant” with the kids and it went from them serving him food, to him calling the cops on them so I guess it’s not going well.
Marvel, DC, and the world unite to agree on one SUPERVILLAIN to rule them all….
The Guy Who Determines Snack Food Serving Sizes.
To their credit, selfie sticks may be the only proof future archaeologists have to dispute the notion cameras grew directly out of our arms
Police sketch artist: Two criminals? But you’ve just described a vase
Me: Look at the negative space either side of it
Sketch artist: Holy shit…
Schrödinger’s cookie
Barney: I love you, you love me
Me: *rolling over in bed* look I thought this was a no strings thing
I stand in the tampon aisle and when a woman reaches for a box, I snicker and say “you’re gross”.
I just want to learn enough sign language to convince a hair stylist to cut my hair in silence
i’m just in the middle of doing some push ups. well actually i’ve just dropped a packet of M&Ms and i’m searching for the ones that rolled under my couch but same thing right
This won’t work unless you stop asking questions about why I brought a smoked turkey leg to bed.
My competitive neighbors are flexing on me by mowing their yard first and making mine look like shit.
Me: Are you mad at me?
Wife: Eventually.
“I wasn’t born yesterday.”
-hilarious talking baby