It’s called support maybe you’ve heard of I.T.
You Might Also Like
This place has ruined me, I watched my mate trip and comically fall to the ground and my first reactions were: giggle and yell “parkour”.
The irish goodbye: leave without telling anyone
The Midwest goodbye: stand around for 4-8 more hours saying goodbye to the entire party
[House Hunters]
*sitting in a blind, in the wilderness, waiting for a house to come*
*chimney slowly appears on the horizon*
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
Wife: Thanks for escorting me to the subway. I feel much safer w/you around.
Me: Hey, if anyone’s going to murder my wife, it’s going to be me.
When I say “let me think about that” it means I’m gonna ask someone smarter than me
Can you explain the gaps in your resume?
Yes that was when I worked really weird jobs that I don’t want you to know about
If Bats in Australia are THIS big, I’d hate to see the size of their Vampires
*coworker drinks coffee I made them*
Me: I poisoned your coffee…
Coworker: WHAT?
Me:…with love!
Coworker: oh haha
me: The love for murder
mugger: gimme your wallet
me: me or her?
mugger: I don’t care
me: *looks at date* I mean I did pay for dinner
Pig: will we be friends forever?
Winnie the bear: no
Pig: friends until we die?
Winnie the bear: friends until I learn how to make sausages
I say “Andrea” you say “Aun-dray-uh” and that’s why nobody likes you, Andrea.
I used to think LOL meant lots of love.
Oh! You’re Aunt died? So sorry. LOL!Took me years to rebuild friendships.
Accidentally said “No kidding,” instead of “No problem” after someone thanked me for helping them today, if anyone knows of a nice bridge I can leap from.
I feel like one of these would kill a European
Me: you can’t spell menu without me n u
Waiter:
Me:
Waiter: my shift ends at 11
Saying no thanks to a CW’s offer to hit me with their car so I could take the day off proves decisions shouldn’t be made before coffee
*wakes up the guy next to me* wow theres a sleepy boy here on this plane haha. Im on business myself. tryin to see if iceland is made of ice
me: sorry I called out my ex’s name just now
woman: three times though?
bloody mary: ew, am I on the ceiling
imagine you’re in the afterlife – FINALLY getting a chance to chill out a bit – when your selfish friends and family try making you talk to them through a ouija board, like omg go away I JUST sat down
ME: my therapist told me to stop talking about people as if they weren’t here
THERAPIST: [rubbing temples] i know
it’s my first birthday in four years so say happy birthday to me rn or i’ll k*ll u with my bare hands
“Can you veegle your toes for me? Veegle your toes.” – Dracula, ER doctor
If my name was Pooh I wouldn’t wear pants either
I try and avoid picking up turtles on the side of the road. Just in case they’re in the middle of a race.
Returning to the office, after working from home for 18 months, and all I worried about was would I have enough snacks to get me through the day
Moan louder every time the cashier scans one of your items.
DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape?
JUDGE: I’ll allow it
PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF
JUDGE: Let’s see where he goes with this
My brain: Don’t worry. I’ll remember.
[1 MINUTE LATER]
My brain: So you’re not going to believe this…