Nailed it! #Tekken #King #cosplay
You Might Also Like
My son was at his blacksmithing camp yesterday. He came home with a knife “forged in the dark of an eclipse.”
I am so proud.
I don’t think I cadaver study a dead body
If a serial killer commits suicide, you can console his family by saying,
“hey, at least he died doing what he loved”
A drinking game where you do a shot every time you are prompted to update Adobe
I wonder if Jason Bateman is thinking about me too
I sat on the toilet approximately 4 degrees off centre, so obviously I’m rattled.
A new study says eating sugar will kill you and was conducted by the No Shit Sherlock Research Institute.
Remember: if you see a tie on my doorknob, it means I’m taking the door to prom
Don’t people with bumper stickers realize it takes a t-shirt to change a person’s deeply held beliefs?
8yo: Geez Mom. Haven’t you ever heard of privacy?
Me: Not since you were born.
Pizzas make terrible but delicious gym towels
What if death changed its name to Jeff and you had to say things like I can’t wait for the sweet release of Jeff.
There was a sudden Jeff in the family
Only two things in life are certain: Jeff and taxes
Whenever I see WHOA spelled as WOAH, I assume it’s referring to Noah’s evil twin whose Ark housed all the insect and arachnid life.
I stop strangers from talking by smelling their hair & saying,”You smell like Pa. Pa loved his wood chipper. Never did find them drifters.”
I always wanted to die like a king.
According to the increase in my cheese intake it looks like that king will be Elvis Presley.
I wouldn’t have to stash these leftovers in my bra if this dress had pockets
public defender: if we get the wooden hammer away from the judge we win
*wife hangs a “No Diving” sign above the tub like that’s going to stop me*
Well, Lassie, maybe it’s time for Timmy to learn a hard lesson about watching where he’s going.
I watched a YouTube video about six signs you have depression and are not just lazy. I’m happy to report that apparently, I’m just lazy.
I’m going to the gym. If you don’t hear from me again…I died.
[First date]
Sarah: I’m a twin.Me: Do you know what each other are thinking?
*meanwhile across town*
Sue: Sarah’s date isn’t going well.
A married woman hit on me today and it was the most uncomfortable and awkward moment I’ve ever had with my wife.
The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.
Darth Vader: “Listen Luke, this is a new arrangement for both of us. Let’s not force things. Just let me know if you need a hand.”
Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
Friend: What are you doing this weekend?
Me: Amusement Pork.
Friend: You mean Amusement Park?
Me: No, I don’t.
Roommate gets sinus infection: treats it with chai tea and three different medications.
I get the same thing: GIVE ME ALL THE WASABI. CLEAR OUT MY SINUSES WITH CLEANSING FIRE. MAKE THEM AN INHOSPITABLE DESERT TO MAN, BEAST, AND VIRUS ALIKE.
cop: where were u between 7 and 8
me: third grade? idk