You missed Mass online, which isn’t great, but you can watch Ben Hur now for partial credit.
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A stunning example of cloud iridescence, caused by small ice crystals scattering the sun’s rays, filmed in Narathiwat, Thailand.
Credit: Orawan Thongchinda
ME: [inflating second “E” balloon]
WIFE: Are you sure you know how to spell happy birthday?
You can have a cereal that tastes good. You can have a cereal that makes you poop.
No. You cannot have both.
Helpful tip: Don’t write out your grocery list while watching a true crime documentary on a husband-murdering wife, or your husband might think you’re taking notes when he walks into the room.
BELLE: Some of the servants aren’t handling the transition from furniture back to human very well.
BEAST: What do you mean?
LUMIÈRE, both hands on fire: Yeah, what do you mean?
me: you ever have conversations in your head?
me: lmao no
Pizza Hut: May I take your order?
Me: Can you make a large pizza vegetarian?
Pizza Hut: Yes, but don’t ever call me vegetarian again.
13: *staring glumly at garden* Why so much spinach?
“SOMEONE IS VAPING”
911: Stay calm, were tracing it
“HURRY”
911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE
“OMG”
911: GET OUT GET OUT
[Family Feud]
What’s your answer?!
*whispers into microphone*
Please help me, I don’t even know these people
Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”
“As per my email…”
Ooh, someone’s absolutely livid.
beware of dog
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the feelings I’ve been trying to avoid.
Vince Vaughn supports the right to carry guns in public. So if you ever wander into 1 of his movies, you can just shoot yourself.
If I wasn’t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn’t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
Dealer: Anyone follow you dude?
Me: just my cat
*dealer opens trench coat & my mom jumps out*
Mom: why are you using drugs???
Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time.
I just saw a skunk and a possum walking through my backyard and i of course assume they’re off on some kind of adventure
Maybe I carry an axe. You don’t know. I could love you to pieces…
INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in?
ME: What do you mean “if” Harry Potter was real?
I just tried a keto friendly cereal. I think tomorrow I’ll just eat my cabinets.
*interrogating cat*
Admit it! You’re a Communist!
“Meow”
A no-good red!
“Meow”
Tough guy eh?
“Meow”
We can do this all night.
“Mao”
You–wait
I wouldn’t say I “missed” your call.
#merica
Me: oh yeah, obviously I want to keep it casual, too
Also me, a year after it ends: *crying to a David Gray song in my car*
ME: I assume you don’t want your dog to see this?
*slides over pic of him with another dog*
JUDGE: *sweating* Bailiff, release this man.
Jan – Nov: depressed
December: depressed but with tinsel
COP: Is this man bothering you ma’am?
ME: She’s my wife
MY WIFE: [mouthing and nodding yes behind me]
The trend of people going back to film cameras is a great reminder that new technology isn’t the best for everything, and also that not everyone is good at photography.