I think the short sellers had it right with Game Stop. It’s a failing business. If you look closely at their actual business model it does not seem at all effective at stopping games.
You Might Also Like
Life is stupid. You can ACCIDENTALLY make a baby but you can’t ACCIDENTALLY make a cake.
It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.
ME: *movie trailer voice* coming this summer…
WIFE: not if you keep that shit up.
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I’m like, that’s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I’m more fun than I actually am
*E=mcHammer
*when E is a constant variable that can’t be touched
“Paintings or it didn’t happen.” – 1700’s-1920
I usually bring an air horn to a funeral to make sure the person is really dead.
Me: I can’t decide on a name for the hamster
Wife: Why don’t you sleep on it?
Me: Jesus Christ Amy, I’d squash it
Made the mistake of dropping my pants when my dentist put on latex gloves.
“Oh, I like your coat!”
“What? This old rag? It cost 2p! I’ve had it for ten years. I found it in a bin. It’s seen better days. I hate it. Been meaning to get a new one. Thank you, though!”
Uglier.
Angel: But, sir…
I SAID UGLIER!
– God inventing cycling outfits.
I’m thankful for my Twitter family. Without you people, I’d still just be talking to myself
Me: *typing* exercise
Autocorrect: extra fries
Me: this is better
I accidentally wore a red shirt to Target today and, long story short, I’m covering for Debbie this weekend.
Squirrels don’t want to wear shoes no matter how cold it is I tell the emergency room physician
My husband said I need a scary costume for Halloween this year, so I’m dressing up as a Positive Pregnancy Test.
Coworker: It’ll either work or it won’t.
Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes.
The overwhelming urge to stick my finger in queso every time I see some is why I could never work at a Mexican restaurant.
I missed being a teacher yesterday so I let my coffee go cold, didn’t pee for 7 hours and stood in my living room repeating myself.
U talkin 2 me?
carving our initials in a hotdog before it’s boiled
I’ve yet to find a romantic comedy that speaks to me. Maybe if they set it in an institution or an Arby’s restroom.
Do regular squirrels think flying squirrels are super heroes??!
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit while you’re still ahead?” 🤔😉🤣🤣
I just had a near death experience
Death: I SAID 6 FEET, GODAMIT
me in 2018: surely next year will be better
me in 2019: well at least it can’t get any worse than this
me in 2020: *walking into the ocean holding a brick in each hand* ok bye
me: im fine, everything’s fine
my search history: i beg to differ
My husband would NEVER cheat on me.
He’s too lazy
[9pm arguing]
Him: you always need to have the last word!Me: I do not!
Him: prove it
Me: *crosses arms, glares silently*
[3am sleeping]
Me: *whispers* I win
DATE’S FATHER: if you could have dinner with anyone alive or dea-
ME: Launchpad McQuack
HIM: I don’t think you underst-
ME: Launch👏pad👏Mc👏Quack👏