Hickory dickory dock
I think that my soulmate’s a sock

The End

You Might Also Like


I’m afraid of people who keep smiling all the time. I feel like they still have plenty of space left for more bodies in their basement.


Juror:We find the defendant-
*pizza guy bursts in*
“Ive got 2 pizzas for Not Guilty”
Defendant: Im Not Guilty
*bangs gavel*


The length of time toddlers stare at each other on the playground would get you stabbed if you did that shit as an adult.


If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage..


Sometimes you just need to burn everything down to start over.. take a deep breath. close your eyes and enjoy the heat..

aaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnd apparently that’s also arson.


I threw out a jar of expired protein powder and some jacked up raccoons beat the shit out of me a week later.


FYI: I guess the goal of bobbing for apples is not who can drink all the water.


*Sees a guy blow a snot rocket*

Watch this! Does a kegel. Bloody tampon goes flying


This looks like a job for Superman!
-unemployed Superman reading the classifieds


Why do people always talk in absolutes? I would never do that. It’s the worst.