@slyoung5

To air is humane, to forgave, divide.
Typo quota for the day.

You Might Also Like

@Giddythefuckup

Saw a homeless guy this mornin’ he said, “Any change?” Me, “Nope, you’re still cold and homeless.” We laughed & laughed & he stabbed me.

@n0tblonde

If mental stability was measured by the type of tweets we laughed at, straight jackets would be the new black.

@bjaynash

My mom used to beat me with a camera.

I still get flashbacks.

@TheFirstDudish

My girlfriend asked me to act like an animal in bed. So I peed on the pillow.

@JennyJohnsonHi5

I’m gonna play on a Slip n’ Slide in my front yard tomorrow morning while the kids on my street wait for the school bus. #Hero

@Br00klyn_BeAr

Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they’re about to take a picture?

@nekolot

I’d choose @funTweeters over anti-depressants any day.

@Elifcello

Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.